I don’t think this blog/site would qualify as a real online film spot if I didn’t post this, the new teaser trailer for the second waste-of-time Twilight film, New Moon. This premiered on the als0-waste-of-time MTV Movie Awards earlier tonight, and it’ll no doubt have the Internet buzzing and all of the Team Jacob member swooning for weeks to come. When they should be in a theater watching the awesome Drag Me to Hell. Or Up.
I watched Twilight recently, just so I could in “the know.” It’s not a good film, at all. Since this is a post about the New Moon trailer, I won’t delve into specifics yet, but let’s just say that Twilight felt like an 11-year-old girl’s gateway drug into horror. And that just sounds horrendous.
Let’s be real here, though. After watching this trailer, the following fact is all the more obvious: Twilight is basically True Blood for people who’ve yet to have sexual intercourse. Seriously, if you’re over the age of 20 and still feen for some Edward Cullen, you need to take a gander in the mirror. The only reason why chicks thinks this Robert Pattinson dude is a “sexy” is because he’s embodying this fictional character that they were in love with long before the first Twilight film even went into production. It could be anybody playing “Edward,” and they’d sweat whomever all the same. If Dustin Diamond had snagged the role, women all over would be feening for some Screech.
The “werewolf” creature at the end of this trailer looks like nothing more than a mutated German Shepherd. Lon Chaney Jr. is rolling over in his grave as I type. Come November of this year, Benicio Del Toro’s The Wolfman remake is going to show all of you Twilight lover how it’s really done. [Trailer after the jump]