Archive for August, 2009

dario-argentoShould Dario Argento just stop making films already? It’s sad, really, that the guy who once made gems such as Suspiria and Deep Red has devolved into somebody who, just today, was referred to as a “bad Uwe Boll” by an Ain’t It Cool News contributor. Which, essentially, is equivalent to saying “shitty feces.” Glimmers of hope that Argento could bumrush skepticism and deliver another balls-out murder mystery poked through when word came that his next one, the no-frills-titled Giallo, would be in the vein of his past gore-shows, and even star an Academy Award nominee (Adrien Brody). It may not be a slam dunk, but surely it’d be better in actual quality than his last, the awful-yet-tough-to-look-away-from Mother of Tears. If not, somebody please take the man’s camera away from him. 

fourfliesongreyvelvetWell, as that “bad Uwe Boll” comment alludes to, word on Giallo is that its a steaming pile. Laughable for all the wrong reasons. Full of poor acting and overall ineptitude. The film recently screened at Frightfest out in TKTK, and the bad reviews are trickling in at a growing clip. What a shame, because at one time (way before MY time, mind you, though I can revisit it thanks to DVD) Argento was one of the most exciting horror filmmakers around. Last week, I gave his 1971 “lost movie” 4 mosche di velluto grigio (Four Flies on Grey Velvet) another spin—-certainly not his best film, but definitely one of his most overlooked. It’s part of the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s upcoming Agrento retrospective series, and since I won’t be able to attend I set up my own personal viewing. 


Four Flies on Grey Velvet has everything you’d want from vintage Argento—drawn-out, elaborate kill sequences that erupt in geysers of visually-stunning, almost radiant bloodshed; random occurrences and small touches that make no sense yet work due to their sheer insanity (a baby-faced mask and usage of flies as jewelry-dressing here); and classic Argento murder setpieces, including one great offing that employs a backward tracking shot down a flight of stairs that’s pure Psycho/Arbogast. There’s also a final “killer reveal” that is obvious all along, but is resolved so crazily that the laziness of the twist is forgiven. That last point leads to today’s Scene of Mine: the final shot of this film, which you’ll find at the end of the Spoiler-Heavy Youtube clip linked here. Out of context, the five minutes leading up the last shot will be an utter mess of confusion and overdone melodrama, I’m sure, but bare with it. The way that Argento sends off the killer in such a out-of-left-field manner is worth the time spent watching the entire film alone. Especially the unnecessarily-slow-and-long You’re About To Die POV he uses, which—I’m guessing—was an inspiration for Quentin Tarantino’s four-perspective crash sequence in Death Proof

Here it is, the final shot of Four Flies on Grey Velvet. Check it out while mourning the once-unbeatable anarchy that was a Dario Argento-staged on-screen death: Youtube — Four Flies on Grey Velvet (Final Seven Minutes)

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Over at Critics Notebook, I’ve assessed Rob Zombie‘s sequel, Halloween II, an infuriating grab-bag of nicely-viscersal kills and overwhelmingly-shoddy storytelling. For more of thoughts, expanded upon, head over to…..  

Critics Notebook: HALLOWEEN II


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“For archival purposes,” as they say. But, also, because There Will Be Blood is indelible genius that I routinely revisit. Any chance to promote that ish is embraced. And I’m back in my pro-Tarantino high-horse these days thanks to those Basterds. This is a double-dipped Molotov cocktail of cool [after the jump]: (more…)

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More on the movie itself to come soon. But, yeah, this poster is serious:


As the folks over at /Film somewhat point out, this poster for The House of the Devil (written and directed by buzzing horror newcomer TI West; set to open in limited release the day before Halloween) looks like it could’ve been dug out of some lost bargain bin full of old obscure Italian gore-flicks. Something Lucio Fulci would’ve made. The way the girl here is staring down, lost and corpse-like, even brings to mind one of the flesheaters from Fulci’s Zombi 2……one of these nasty bastards:


The House of the Devil‘s sneak attack of a trailer, after the jump:  (more…)

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shutter island martin scorcese dennis lahane book cover

Frankly, I’m spending way too much energy thinking about this, but so goes it. That left-cross I felt Friday night when I first read that Shutter Island has been pushed back from October to February hasn’t healed yet; it’s still numb, and I’m dropping these thoughts onto my keyboard simply because my fat-lip is puffing past the point of comfortable speech. 

The fact that I can’t see Martin Scorcese‘s flick for another five months isn’t the most infuriating aspect of this news. What’s really irking me is the bottom-line reason for the delay, an inability on the half of Paramount Pictures to get down on their knees and slob down the Oscar voting committee. At least that’s what it feels like to me. When the defense on the studio’s part for this move is that they won’t be able to pay for a proper Academy Award campaign for the film as their books stand this year, how can I not think that? Other reports say that star Leonardo Dicaprio won’t be available to promote Shutter Island internationally, which seems a bit inconsequential.

The name of this disappointing game is Money Can’t Talk; rather than just release the film and bank on its actual quality to either convince or dissuade the Academy, the studio retreats, leaving the film in February’s unbefitting terrain for a Scorcese film.

There’s a good chance that I’m wrong here, and that my not being in the crust of Hollywood dollar-crunching has left me misinformed. I could also be coming at this from a purely one-sided “fan” perspective. If so, color me biased. I’m just struggling to decipher why a Martin Scorcese film starring Leonardo Dicaprio that’s been apparently testing super-strong and has ever-lengthening word-of-mouth buzz can’t stand on its own laurels. If it’s good enough that Paramount considers it worthy of an expensive Oscar push, then let the film lobby for itself. Make it a hands-off awards season event, instead of a February 19, 2010 passer-by.

As far as I’m concerned, the most intriguing thing about Scorcese’s Shutter Island isn’t whether it’ll become a Best Picture contender or not, nor if Dicaprio can finally earn that elusive Best Actor statue. Intense curiosity is favoring how Scorcese will handle the novel’s definition-of-polarizing twist, which has been a catalyst for widespread hatred for Dennis Lehane‘s book. While I completely understand the anger directed at Lehane’s decision to turn the tables with a conventionally-overused reveal, I’m able to look past the head-shrugging and appreciate the great ways that Lehane sets this twist up from the first page. It holds up well upon repeat readings. How Scorcese will be able to manipulate the audience well enough to not spoil the twist is what I’m really excited to see unfold. That trailer has already given away a good deal; Scorcese has hands full now.

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This may sound ludicrous, but it’s actual fact. This news hurts nearly as much as the news that hit me back in late March, when I found out that my place of employment at the time was shutting its doors due to economic woes, leaving me unemployed for what turned out to be three stressful, uncertain months. Yes, this ultimately minor turn of events here pains me almost as much.

ShutterIslandPosterParamount, in an attempt to deliver a gut-punch to yours truly using a battering ram instead of a mere fist, has just announced that they’ve moved Martin Scorcese‘s adaptation of Dennis Lehane’s Shutter Island (a favorite book of mine, read it three times now, the third concluding this afternoon) to February 19, 2010—-a whole four fucking months after its original, seemingly-set-in-stone date of October 2. Which had been marked on my mind’s calendar in permanent, dark-as-night Sharpie; Shutter Island has been my number one must-see film of 2009 since late 2008. Its opening was rapidly upon us. More specifically, though, me. Now, I’m feeling like Teddy Daniels around the page-340 mark.

In most cases, a pushback such as this would signify that the film is plagued with negative issues, the change of release a last ditch effort to prolong a thought-to-be inevitable failure. But, according to Hollywood know-it-all Nikki Finke, word from Paramount is that the Leonardo Dicaprio film, already atop many critics’ Academy Award Watch lists, has been testing in the low-90-percentile, and the consensus on the trailer has been hugely positive. I’m in that majority, with watching the trailer a daily routine in my life.

So why in shit’s name has this happened? The primary reason: Blame it on the economy, sadly. In the words of a source of Nikki Finke’s:

“Paramount told the filmmakers it doesn’t have the financing in 2009 to spend the $50M to $60M necessary to market a big awards pic like this.”


Like I said, this one is a Tyson-in-his-prime uppercut. Just minutes ago, after seeing Quentin Tarantino’s dynamite Inglourious Basterds for the second time, I was ranting all giddily to some friends about how excited I am for Shutter Island. Even got them equally amped. October 2 was locked in as a big night for the three of us. Gone with the wind, now.

Link to Nikki Finke’s full story: Deadline Hollywood Daily

The trailer, my current obsession, after the jump: (more…)

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Darren Aronofsky‘s in-development Black Swan has already earned itself two posts on this site, and the damn thing hasn’t even started shooting yet. That’s saying something. The main reason being, the prospect of Aronofsky delving into some straightforward psychological terror is divine; just watch his Requiem for a Dream again and defy yourself to not envision this guy as capable of delivering some devastating chills. After I dedicated a post to the announcement that Mila Kunis is set to play the may-or-may-not-be imaginary competitor for ballerina Natalie Portman‘s coveted starring role in a production of “Swan Lake,” I told myself that I’d fall back. Let the production begin and save any more speculation or written-down anticipation until some tangible pics or clips surface.


But then some news materialized yesterday that—-fingers crossed that this ish is legit and not some elaborate Internet hoax—-the script has been read by a blogger somehow, and said blogger dropped a bomb of a tease: Portman and Kunis get down and dirty together in the film. As in, hot, steamy sex. There’s also some possible guy-on-girl rape, though, which I’ll leave alone; it’s all about the Kunis/Portman imagery here. As hard as I’m trying to not come off as some tongue-wagging horn-dude here, this is just too epic to ignore. So I’m submitting to the hotness—-wanna fight about it?

Can I just tell you why none of my review matters? Can I just tell you why my review is absolutely pointless? Because in this movie, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have sex.

Yeah. You read that right. And not just nice sweet innocent sex either. We’re talking ecstasy-induced hungry aggressive angry sex. 


If this Script Shadow fella is to be trusted, then Black Swan will have more to offer than just big-name lesbianism. Aronofksy has a great opportunity in his clutches with this, full of role reversals, head fuckery, flip-flopped faces on bodies. The review says that the script chugs along in a slow, far-too-much-detail pace in its early stretch, but then slips into an eerie groove before “the extraordinary happens, [slamming] into you like an SUV.” I was already sold before reading dude’s write-up, but now I’m officially tossed into Ebay.

Link to script review: Script Shadow

Three-way pic of Black Swan team created at: /Film

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deltoro-wolfmanThe recent word on this one has been mostly negative, with talk of last minute reshoots and endless release date pushbacks leading folks to believe that it’s a misfire being readied for the clip. But after watching this first official trailer, though, I’m still as excited for The Wolfman (starring Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins and Emily Blunt) as I was on day one. There’s certainly causes for concern, most notably that there’s an unfortunate sense of Van Helsing’s period-film-with-actors-that-look-very-out-of-place in its air. Jeffrey Wells (Hollywood-Elsewhere.com) said it best, with, “[Del Toro] plays an American but let’s face it — he looks like a dressed-up Tijuana narcotics detective.” The man-to-wolf transformation shots look quite slick, though, yet still nothing in comparison to that of 198’s An American Werewolf in London, the measuring stick upon all future lycanthropic changes shall be judged. I’m sticking to the assumption that this will rip through the preceding skepticism and emerge as a winner.

I’ve been terribly wrong before, though (Black Christmas remake, anyone?), so I’m not willing to bet cash on this. But give the trailer your own look and see where you stand. 


Quick question, first……why would Universal premiere this trailer within minutes of the unveiling of James Cameron’s Avatar preview? There must’ve been some way of preventing that. Epic failure; The Wolfman has become the Farrah Fawcett to Avatar‘s Michael Jackson. Is that insensitive? I’m sure it is. 

Lastly, tell me that Benicio Del Toro wasn’t born to play a wolfman? Just look at dude:


Trailer after the jump: (more…)

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Looks like something from the VHS watched in The Ring. Only posting because I’m sweating in anticipation for this one, even currently re-reading the Dennis Lehane novel for the third time. The pages just breeze on by, what can I say?


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I’ll admit it: I’m somewhat of a Quentin Tarantino apologist. In the sense that I tend to defend every cinematic choice he makes even though there are times that I understand the prosecutor’s stance. One of the common slams against Tarantino is that his films are scatterbrained homages to grindhouse-y cinema that feature sporadic moments of sheer brilliance. Critics try their best to totally detest the guy, but he’s just too naturally gifted to feel full-on assaults. The majority of a Tarantino-focused piece or review may be negative, but there’s always a sprinkle of flattery. When you’re such a daring, unconventional filmmaker, though, that’s to be expected. Can’t win them all. Opinions are like assholes, and there’s a ton of sphincters working in the film criticism field, talented or not. 

The trend continues this week, as Friday’s public unveiling of Tarantino’s extremely-long-awaited World War II acid dream Inglourious Basterds loomed brighter by the minute. I saw the a couple of weeks back, and I’m a big fan. Fanboy, perhaps? As a result, I can’t help but feel a certain way about these recent critical bombings. Or several ways, even. (more…)

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myson99My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done is about a deranged guy who acts out a Sophocles play in his head and slaughters his mother with a sword. Sophocles was a writer of Greek tragedies, notably the “Oedipus” tale, where the son kills his father in order to marry his mother. With David Lynch producing and Werner Herzog directing, it’ll be much more than that, naturally, but that’s the gist. Now, ask yourself…..who’d be an ideal actor to play the son. Who exudes creepiness and instability just by simply staring at you, yet is one hell of an actor? I’m guessing that Michael Shannon isn’t your first suggestion, though he should be; just watch Bug or Revolutionary Road for definitive evidence. You can’t ever take your eyes off off him, even though you’re not sure whether you’re totally comfortable watching him do what he does.


The first trailer for My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done (which co-stars the equally-unsettling Willem Dafoe and undercover hottie Chloe Sevigny) debuted earlier today, and it’s not the slam-dunk I was expecting, sadly. It looks good and all, and I’ll absolutely see it at first chance, but it’s a bit cleaner-cut than I’d hope for in a Shannon/Lynch collabo. Leaves me feeling at ease, when I should be off-center and bewildered. This is merely a trailer, though, so the verdict’s hanging in mid-air for the time being. Give it a look and see if you’re similarly underwhelmed. Trailer after the jump: (more…)

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This past weekend, a little horror flick called Grace opened on one inconspicuous theater in Manhattan’s East Village. There was also a presence in one theater out in Los Angeles, but the NYC locale was my only concern. I’d read a slew of positive pre-release press on the film over the last several months, hailing Paul Solet‘s feature-making debut as an effective blend of Roman Polanski, Ingmar Bergman and It’s Alive-minded gore (that’s paraphrased, obviously). It’s about a baby born dead that somehow comes back to life, and all the horror plot devices that Solet could blend into that starting point. 

So what’s my verdict, after tons of excitable anticipation? Not as positive as you’d think, though not totally negative, either. Over at Critics Notebook, I’ve gone much deeper. Give it a look, would ya?

LINK: Critics Notebook — GRACE (2009)


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xxlAn intermission…. A quick respite amidst an ongoing film-focused initiative. Over at the actual “job,” XXL, I’m handling the weekly staff blog duties this week; a different staffer writes all five of the between-weekend-stretch’s posts, topics completely left to one’s own imagination.

powered_by_old_school_hip_hop_rap_swagger_mcs_tshirt-p2354287513676546433dqm_400Today’s entry—my first-ever XXL blog entry—is a quick trip into nostalgia, shortened for the site’s sake. If written here for Theater of Mine, it would’ve been at least three times longer, I’m sure. Self-Editing 101. It’s basically me turning the interrogation-table’s light toward myself, asking yours truly, “What’s your most personal ‘hip-hop’ moment?” The answer came instantly. Bringing me back to a much more innocent time in my life, when Playstation and Maxell cassette had yet to allow bills and adult responsibilities to fuck the party up.

“When S.H.E. Loved Me Back,” found by clicking here: XXLmag.com — Blog: “When S.H.E. Loved Me Back”

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movie_8093_posterEarlier this week, I caught an advance screening of what’s sure to be an awards season heavy, Lone Scherfig’s An Education. The plan is to go more in-depth on the film next week, so I’ll reserve all reactions and the such for that. But know that An Education is the definition of “delightful,” funny and effective, breezy and layered. There are some parallels I could make to Juno right now, but I’ll save those for next week. It’s definitely a must-see when it hits in early September.

The biggest reason for its success, hands down, is newbie star Carey Mulligan (24 years old; from Britain), who’s already creating tidal waves of buzz off her performance. She plays “Jenny Miller,” an intelligent and wide-eyed 16-year-old living in early 1960s Britain, whose world is opened up in various ways after she meets a much-older man (played by Peter Sarsgaard). If there’s anything close to an Oscar nominee shoe-in at this stage of the game, it’s Carey Mulligan for Best Actress—if Ellen Page was able to pull off the same last year, there’s no question that Mulligan is overqualified in ’09. One of the more naturally charming performances you’re likely to see all year, if not the most. She’s in virtually every scene, and she’s magnetic throughout. 


Looks like the potential Carey Mulligan takeover is kicking into gear. This morning, it was officially announced that Mulligan has signed on to Oliver Stone‘s Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps (an awkward title more fitting for some sort of corporate action thriller, no?), the recently-announced sequel to Stone’s tktk standard. In this new one, Michael Douglas will return as the ruthless “Gordon Gekko,” and Shia LaBeouf will take the Charlie-Sheen-vacated position of young upstart dealing with shadiness and money-hungry deception. Mulligan will play Gekko’s daughter, who’s also the love interest for LaBeouf. Josh Brolin and Frank Langella are also down for Stone’s cause. 

I’m a marginal Wall Street fan, so I’m, at most, marginally excited for this second-part. But I’m really curious to see how Mulligan’s career progresses after An Education. Let’s see if the love affair continues in a more mainstream look. What’s concrete, however, is that Mulligan’s name will soon be all over your computer screen, TV and favorite entertainment read. You can take that to the bank and cash it. 

News learned over at:  Empire Online

An Education trailer, after the jump: (more…)

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Not to turn this week into a Frank Darabont slob-a-thon, but, fuck it, the guy deserves it. At one point not too long ago, Darabont’s next directing gig was to be Law Abiding Citizen, which he also served as a script-reviser on. Which, obviously, caught my attention and put the project high on my radar. It’s about a well-to-do, middle class familyman whose family is murdered by home-invaders, and, after the invaders get off clean in court, he sets out to bring hell down on both the deviants and the son-of-a-bitch lawyer who got them a nice plea bargain. A good old-school revenge show, full of redemption and naturalistic violence. Nothing all that special on paper, though, so if not for Darabont’s involvement Law Abiding Citizen would’ve came and gone quickly in my neck-topper.


But then, for reasons undisclosed, Darabont backed out, even though the film’s stars were attached—Gerard Butler as the father, and Jamie Foxx as the lawyer. Then, F. Gary Gray (director of Friday, The Italian Job, as well as a few other duds) stepped in. And I was still as disinterested as I was the day that Darabont jumped ship. Honestly, I’d pretty much forgotten about the project until yesterday, when the first trailer debuted. Neither of the stars are all that compelling right now—-Foxx has lost tons of luster since his Academy Award triumph, not to mention that I’m deathly-sick of “Blame It” at this point. Butler has become similarly stale; he wrecked shop in 300, but since then he’s devolved into a bit of an on-screen sissy in romantic comedies that you couldn’t pay me to see. I did enjoy Rock N Rolla enough, though, but that wasn’t enough for the chap. 

I reluctantly gave the Law Abiding Citizen trailer a go-round last night, expecting some generic thrills and excessive mean-mugging from Butler. To my surprise, however, what I got was something rather exciting. Much meaner and dirtier than anticipated. Both of the film’s stars seem well-suited for their particular roles, and the mayhem that Butler’s character triggers looks delightfully hardcore. There’s even some stylish visuals from Gray, especially that end shot with Butler’s back-view silhouette standing before the devil’s-wings-like fire. 

Could Law Abiding Citizen be a nice little surprise come October 16? Optimism is settling in. Looks like October could be one of the chunkiest months of new mainstream cinema in quite some time. Amen for that. Trailer after the jump:  (more…)

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I’ve realized that by writing more than three sentences here, whenever I link to something I’ve written elsewhere, there’s a strong chance that lazy types won;t bother to click over to the real deal. So, from here on out, whenever I promo the self here, I’m cutting right to the chase. Or, link.

My take on District 9, over at Critics Notebook:

Critics Notebook — DISTRICT 9 review


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Here’s some visual vindication, to all those who’ve ever questioned my Christina Ricci crush (yes, many have wondered “Why?” to my face). She’s looking better than ever these days, and that’s just swell; a slight hint of “Give me a cheeseburger,” though, which I generally frown upon. But she’s at the nice point before that becomes a problem (that must’ve sounded so wrong; I meant it in the most flattering way, I swear):

inglorious basterds premiere arrivals 6 110809

One more, after the jump:  (more…)

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Why haven’t I read any issues of The Walking Dead yet? It’s quite absurd, really. Any self-respecting zombie aficionado such as myself knows about the comics, loves them. Recommends them to their close-eyed friends who laugh their words off and go watch those Real Housewives. I don’t watch Real Housewives, ever, but I’m just as guilty, though. The Walking Dead is a survival-amongst-the-living-dead series, a character development first/zombie violence second enterprise that’s celebrated and ongoing, ten installments in and one more on tap for December. Which is the reason why I’ve been so leery—-Who has the time to read ten comic books, let alone pay for them all? 

walking-dead-20070911022507830-000What dumbass logic. A) I could sit down in Borders and/or Barnes & Noble and read them without dropping coin, and B) I’m busy, yes, but I’m no Obama. Time is readily available if I so choose to utilize. So, you bet, I’m on the verge of making an extended visit to my local chain bookstore to dive into Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead. I’d be lying, however, if I said that general interest is the true catalyst here. The credit should be fully awarded to news wires, all reporting today that the great Frank Darabont will soon be writing and directing a miniseries for cable TV based on The Walking Dead, most likely for the AMC Network. 

From the thoughts of Joel Stillerman, AMC’s senior VP of programming:

This is not about zombies popping out of closets,” Stillerman said. “This is a story about survival, and the dynamics of what happens when a group is forced to survive under these circumstances. The world (in ‘Walking Dead’) is portrayed in a smart, sophisticated way.

darabont_int_1If you paid me to come up with any filmmaker better suited for such material, I’d have to chin-check you and then run off with the money, without working for it. Darabont is without a doubt this material’s best life-giver; he’s shown how amazingly he handles human interest pieces (see The Shawshank Redemption), but most importantly he’s great at bringing genuine horror and brutality that’s both effectively creepy and non-exploitative (the still-unappreciated-and-that-pisses-me-off The Mist). I’m not a betting man, but I’d be willing to place a $-heavy wager that his The Walking Dead will own the airwaves, whenever it’s ready to play.

As you’re reading this (all 12 of you), I’ll be seated somewhere in the Route 17-located Barnes & Noble, set to crack open The Walking Dead #5.

News spotted over at: Bloody Disgusting

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All of you Iron Man heads still firing knuckle-five-packs at your face for not making it out to last month’s Comic-Con are in luck. Thanks to some flipcam-packing, crafty pirate, the exclusive Iron Man 2 footage shown at the Con has made its way online. The sound quality is atrocious, but the picture is surprisingly crisp for a flipcam; meaning, your eyes may still bleed, but the rivers of red will flow from sockets after having seen the goods. 

iron-man-entertainment-weekly-coverAs for what director Jon Favreau and company have been so generous to bestow, the footage is cool enough. Takes a while to get going, loaded with an extended trial scene that’ll be much more interesting within the film’s whole context. The money-shots, however, are just that: money (right, Mr. Favreau?). Mickey Rourke wrecks shop as Whiplash, despite looking like a homeless version of He-Man; those whips promise some destruction, and it’s downright awesome to see Rourke in this kind of popcorn fare. Sam Rockwell looks perfect as the snaky arms dealer “Justin Hammer,” and that ending glimpse of War Machine (the Iron Man-like hero that Don Cheadle will become) is a crowd-massager. 

Better quality would do this footage more justice, but, still, it’s effective. Nothing to drool over, but slick enough to keep the anticipation slightly above its status quo. Footage after the jump: (more…)

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All I should really have to say about the following video is: I could watch Jamie Chung play the bubbly co-ed all day, night, morning, afternoon, etc.

sorority-row-posterSorority Row lands squarely in the sector of blah horror films that I, against my better judgment, spend earnings on at some point during opening weekend. Little expectation, just an unshakeable attraction to low-end slashers full of vapid beauties and predictable kills. And the film’s current viral marketing ploy, shooting quick confessionals from each actress in character (which can all be found on Youtube, if you feel so inclined), is cheap and easy. Nothing to pay attention to, until I came across Jamie Chung’s, as “Claire.” Now I want to shake marketing-department hands. Buy drinks to place in said five-digits. Drive a knife through said hand if said hand won’t give up the Chung-phone-number goods. I just said that out loud, didn’t I? 


There’s no real point to this post, admittedly. Just to archive Miss Chung’s clip, to watch over and over. Nothing wrong with exercising your masculine likings, folks. Video after the jump: (more…)

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After catching A Perfect Getaway earlier this week, my immediate reaction was somewhere between “Dear God, that sucked,” and “Ladies and gentleman, we have 2009’s equivalent to last year’s The Happening.” Brutal and eviscerating thoughts. That initial venom has subsided a bit in the viewing’s wake, mostly due to the euphoria experienced while seeing Inglourious Basterds 24 hours later; that one lived up to my expectations well enough to forgive A Perfect Getaway. Like the way you can look past a girlfriend’s incessant nagging after winning the lottery (not that I can relate, but I’m sure it’s blissful). 

A pardon can only go so far, though. A Perfect Getaway, regardless of what Quentin Tarantino is/was able to do, is still a bad film on many levels, most irritatingly because it could’ve been something sharper. I’ve given the film a closer look over at Critics Notebook; check it, would ya?

Link:  Critics Notebook — A PERFECT GETAWAY (2009)

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Like the rest of the general population these days, I’m obsessed with True Blood. No shock there. Though, I’ve been riding with the show since day one, back when it kicked off in an underwhelming, sucks-like-its-central-vampires funk. Once it got good, thankfully, the trashy greatness settled into motion, which is when everybody else boarded. 

deborah-ann-wollI’d be curious to know if I’m in the minority on this next though…..Anna Paquin sucks as Sookie. Annoying, overly-emotive. Delivers every line like a hammer to my cranium. Should be ripped in half by animalistic sex-goddess Maryann; Bill, however, is cool with me, so I’d then want him to shack up with the show’s sexiest female Deborah Ann Woll, who plays the virginal vamp “Jessica.” Hands down the finest thing moving on True Blood, Woll is practically begging for more screen time, a beefed-up character arch; at least she is every Sunday in my head, where she resides throughout the week. Leaving me to plead, “Somebody please cast this girl in a film.”

B00004YS5P.01.LZZZZZZZDarren Lynn Bousman, one of the bigger driving forces behind the Saw sequels, apparently feels the same. It was announced this morning that Deborah Ann Woll is the first to sign on to the director’s remake of the 198o horror-sleaze cult staple Mother’s Day, a critically-loathed mess that’s beloved by horror mavens for whatever reasons, reasons I’ll hopefully agree with once the DVD arrives next week courtesy of Netflix. Woll will have a starring role as the sister portion of a sibling crew of killers that return to their childhood home and proceed to hack and slash through the family living there in their wake. The plot slightly remixes the original’s, which centered on a sadistic pair of brothers who have their bloody way with three unsuspecting female campers. 

I’m not a huge fan of Darren Lynn Bousman’s work so far (his “New Years Day” zombie installment in last year’s blah anthology series Fear Itself was just plain awful), and I’ve yet to see the 1980 Mother Day film, so my initial excitement over this project was full of dustballs and mildew. Now that my favorite–fine-redhead-aside-from-Rachel-Nichols Deborah Ann Woll is down, though, I’m enthused.

News spotted over at: Bloody Disgusting

After the jump, check out the cheesy-yet-somewhat-endearing trailer for the original MOTHER’S DAY:  (more…)

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….it’s only opposition being the full-length District 9 one. And, Shutter Island, of course.


Some things explain themselves so damn well that there’s no need to write a bunch of blah-blah. Waste space with analysis, thought-vomiting. When something is as insanely-fun-looking as this new red band Zombieland trailer is, all you can do is watch the thing and bow down. Anticipated with baited mouth-fumes, re-watch it again and again. Dream about how cute Emma Stone is, and how brilliantly-cast Woody Harrelson is here. Revel in the series of creative zombie kills, and the all-out reckless verve.


Shaun of the Dead nailed the zombie-comedy tone, so well that I’d thought it impossible to ever come within miles again. Dance of the Dead tried, admirably, but fell Esther-short. Zombieland, though, has the potential to one-up Edgar Wright and his boys; seems like it’ll top its comp in the gore arena, and the humor feels good. The zombie-movie-addict that I am, October 9 can’t get here fast enough.

I know virtually nothing about you, Zombieland director Ruben Fleischer…..but I like you already. Badass red band trailer, after the jump: (more…)

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