Here’s a pitch that must’ve taken a whole ten seconds to draft up, and probably less time awarding a studio’s greenlight: “The film is called Dark Tide, right, and we’re looking to cast Halle Berry as the lead and put her in a bikini, reluctantly taking to the sea after overcoming the trauma of a near-fatal shark encounter, and, naturally, once again coming face to face with a famished Great White. That last part is actually just my guess, but a highly educated one.
Find me one hetero guy who won’t pay to see that, and I’ll retort, “I said a ‘hetero’ guy.” There’s also Berry’s female supporters, as well as moviegoers interested in some new Jaws-ish thrills. The potential is high for this one. And, frankly, Berry’s career needs some resuscitating. Not sure if evading sharks is the best way to warm up the heart-pads, but at least it’s better than another superhero movie. By the way, am I the only one who enjoys Catwoman on a totally kitsch level? It’s pure excrement, but harmlessly enjoyable once accepted as such.
According to Empire Online, Berry will play the shark-fearing diving instructor in Dark Tide, which will be directed by Clark Johnson (most notable for the passable action flick S.W.A.T., with Colin Farrell and Samuel L. Jackson). There’s nothing more to go on here other than the plot description, so I’ll reserve judgment. But, the truth is, this has the potential to be completely ridiculous, on some Deep Blue Sea shit if the tone isn’t kept in stone-faced check. Kudos for coming up with an original idea, though——that’s more welcome than ever before in the wake of yesterday’s Suspiria remake confirmation/announcement.
After the jump, a bonus video—–the most badass cinematic shark kill ever (okay, that’s hyperbole, but it’s still quite memorable):